When the Going Gets Rough...

Quiet, repetitive handwork soothes my soul. 

It's Friday of a four-day work week. I should wake up ready for the day and excited for the weekend. Instead, I'm burnt out from a week of churn at work and then wake up to the dreadful news that Roe v Wade is being overturned and women and families everywhere have to carry the burden of unwanted pregnancies, potentially unsafe pregnancies, a lifetime of remembering a rapist and paying for a child whose mouth you know you cannot feed.

What do you do? That's the question I put to my mentor today when we had our allotted time slot. We were both tired from the week and gutted by the news of the day.

Over my many years of life, I have created a toolbox of things to do when I get stressed, but sometimes, in the moment, it really helps to hear from others and remember that we all have the tools to move forward.

Reach out. The first thing I did this morning was reach out to friends, family and even got vocal in our internal slack channel for women to connect and support each other. We were all grieving together, separately but together.

Regarding work stress, it was also helpful to hear that several others were having a stressful week, it wasn't all in my head and there is indeed chaos in the organization at the moment.

Take a breath. I know I can be to be reactive and emotional. It's not the best for the workplace. I continue to work to remind myself that in most conversations we are both trying to get to similar outcomes, but we may just have different ways of expressing it or getting there. It works better to be curious, ask questions and know that most people have good intentions. Sometimes, I literally have to take a breath mid meeting and remind myself of these things.

Take action. If something isn't working at work or in your life, make a plan for change. Change the experience, change your reaction, change the conversation. A list of organizations to donate time and money to was shared at work today. As Michelle Obama said today "Our hearts may be broken today, but tomorrow, we've got to get up and find the courage to keep working towards creating the most just America we all deserve. We have so much left to push for, to rally for, to speak for - and I know we can do this together. 

Practice mindfulness. Sit down and take 2 minutes, 5 minutes, 20 minutes. Be kind to yourself. Send out love into the world. Really do it. Put the time on your calendar or just turn off the computer and breathe. Pause has 7 minute free meditations or check out Insight Timer for all sorts of DIY meditations. 

Talk to a professional. If you are extraordinarily stressed or burnt out, take the time to talk to a professional coach or counselor or someone who can support your mental health. So many companies now have employee assistance programs or ways to access mental health for low or no cost. Take advantage of it. If the company is supporting you in this way, you should support yourself.

Distract yourself. When all else fails, sometimes the best thing to do is nothing, or something mindless and repetitive. Some of you may dive into video games, I love the repetition and simplicity of crochet and bead work (although with the amount of swearing I do during crochet it's not as simple as one would hope).

As I mentioned at the top, most of these are not rocket science but I believe when we are in high stress we sometimes need a reminder of the things we can do to get through the day. That doesn't mean you should stop being angry or sad or mad or grieving, but we all need to get to the end of the day somehow and hopefully these tools can be a reminder of ways to get there.